yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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