Betty ford says i'm here all night
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
