Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
