My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Send help, water and tortillas.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Randomize
