Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
