She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Bang-toberfest begins!!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
