I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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