at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
