Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
