If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize