we're blogging at a bar
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You dont lie about slip and slides
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
