farters have to be the big spoon...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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