We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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