He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
