If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Randomize
