C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
