you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
