I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
