You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
