So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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