i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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