He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
