areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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