dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize