How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
