I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
