plz talk dirty to me
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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