you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
