dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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