Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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