Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
