just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize