i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
