dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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