Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
