Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
