plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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