ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
My life is pants optional.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
