I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
