Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
