Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
