i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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