I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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