shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
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