Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize