He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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