I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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