You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
