I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
