I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
