How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
