your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
