Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
