so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
