I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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