She's JV to your varsity
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
so much tequila, so little girl.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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