just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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