I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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