Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
