one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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