is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I would ride that face into the sunset
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