You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
