I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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